The EVOLUTION PROGRAMME is a voluntary attendance programme (in Cornwall) for men or women who are concerned that their behaviour is having a damaging impact on their relationship and family.
Our aim is to help you protect your partner and any children by challenging your behaviours, attitudes and beliefs and by providing you with the knowledge, understanding and self-help tools that will help you to change.
The programme will take place over a 39 week period, through a process of weekly one to one and group-work sessions in a location near to where you live*; in a non-judgemental, non-blaming and therapeutic environment, run by professional and caring staff.
If you are over 18 years of age, do not have children on a child protection plan (social services) and are not currently involved in the criminal justice system for ‘domestic violence’ offences; why not give us a call?
Help for those who abuse their partners
'Sometimes when we argue and I shout at my partner she is scared of me'
'I slapped him once and I promised myself it would never happen again - but I hit him again...'
'I get angry with her and I totally lose it...'
‘When I feel confused inside, it is easier to take my frustrations out on him. Usually he has made me angry too’
Do you recognise yourself in any of that? Are you concerned that your behaviour towards your partner is costing you your relationship? Are you worried your children are witnessing too many arguments between their parents?
Asking for help for violence and abuse is the first step...
It can be tough facing up to difficult problems. We can support you make the changes you need, so that you are safe around your partner and children (if you have them).
What is abuse?
Abuse is something that is said or done that hurts another person physically, emotionally, sexually or mentally. Domestic violence is a number of abusive behaviours, both physical and non-physical, that may occur frequently or infrequently.
How do you know if you have abused your partner?
Read the following list of abusive behaviours and think carefully about your relationship.
Physical abuse: Slapping-Punching / Hitting-Pushing-Kicking-Grabbing-Using a weapon-Strangling / Choking etc
Mental / emotional abuse: Calling your partner names-Shouting at them-Smashing things-Putting them down-Standing over them-Threatening to harm them-Threatening to harm the kids-Threatening to harm yourself-Controlling who they see-Checking up on them-Not letting them use the car / phone etc
Sexual abuse: Pressuring them-Touching them against their will-Forcing sex against their will-Sulking or punishing them for not having sex-Raping them-Humiliating them sexually etc
This list is not complete. You may be able to think of other things you've done and make a note of them.
Also, remember/think about what your partner may have said about your behaviour, make a note of it and try to understand how they felt.
Think about how you would feel if anyone treated you like this.
It's important to face up to how your behaviour affects your partner. The more you can understand what your behaviour is like for them, the harder it will be to behave badly towards them in future.
Facing up to what you've done
Most people get into relationships because they care for their partner. You may not intend hurting them, but you are. You may be feeling bad about how you've behaved - ashamed or guilty. It can be hard to face up to what you've done and how it's affected your family.
Why do people not take responsibility?
You might find yourself minimising things, pretending things aren't that bad. When you do this you're not taking responsibility for your actions.
Why does abuse happen?
Abuse doesn't just happen. Rather than being about loss of control, most of the time it's about you trying to be in control.
What can you do? Help for those abusing their partners.
At EVOLUTION, we believe that people can change. It will take a lot of hard work but it can happen. As long as you take full responsibility for your actions and you commit yourself to changing, it can happen with the right kind of help...
The EVOLUTION PROGRAMME may be the right kind of help for you!